| 
 
|
"Each of us must find wisdom in his own way. Mine is one way, yours another. Perhaps we each need more of what the other knows." . . . The Lonely Men
The Official Louis L'Amour Discussion Forum
 Corniest Cowboy Joke [View All],
DocKaty, 06:28 PM, 03-29-12, (0)
- RE: Corniest Cowboy Joke,
RickAbreu, 03-30-12, 01:14 AM, (1)
- RE: Corniest Cowboy Joke,
Kiwi _ Brie, 03-30-12, 09:58 AM, (2)
- RE: Corniest Cowboy Joke,
Tennessee Dave, 03-30-12, 11:00 AM, (3)
- RE: Corniest Cowboy Joke,
Phyllis, 03-31-12, 09:26 AM, (4)
- RE: Corniest Cowboy Joke,
epeterd, 04-02-12, 12:43 PM, (5)
- No more - I promise,
DocKaty, 04-04-12, 06:53 AM, (6)
- Corniest Cowboy Joke -A Winner,
DocKaty, 04-26-12, 07:46 AM, (17)
|
Kiwi _ Brie
Member since 4-22-09
40 posts |
03-30-12, 09:58 AM (Pacific Time) |
    |
2. "RE: Corniest Cowboy Joke"
In response to message #0
| |
Really Good One Made Me Chuckle = Chuckle = Chuckle Thanks 4 That DocKaty
Wrong Decisions Today
Can Keep Your Destiny At Bay by "young brie" le lievre
bye 4 NOW = Briezie Le Lievre
|
|
|
|
Printer-friendly page | Top |
|
|
Tennessee Dave
Member since 1-2-11
1207 posts |
03-30-12, 11:00 AM (Pacific Time) |
|
|
3. "RE: Corniest Cowboy Joke"
In response to message #0
| |
I think you just won, Doc. Tennessee Dave "Change is inevitable, growth is optional."
Author unknown |
|
|
|
Printer-friendly page | Top |
|
|
DocKaty
Member since 12-6-09
620 posts |
04-04-12, 06:53 AM (Pacific Time) |
|
|
6. "No more - I promise"
In response to message #0
| |
Cowboy Joe was telling his fellow cowboys back on the ranch about his first visit to a big-city church.
"When I got there, they had me park my old truck in the corral," Joe began.
"You mean the parking lot," interrupted Charlie, a more worldly fellow.
"I walked up the trail to the door," Joe continued.
"The sidewalk to the door," Charlie corrected him.
"Inside the door, I was met by this dude," Joe went on.
"That would be the usher," Charlie explained.
"Well, the usher led me down the chute," Joe said.
"You mean the aisle," Charlie said.
"Then, he led me to a stall and told me to sit there," Joe continued.
"Pew," Charlie retorted.
"Yeah," recalled Joe. "That's what the pretty lady said when I sat down beside her."****************************************** As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way. |
|
|
|
Printer-friendly page | Top |
|
|
 |
|
|
DocKaty
Member since 12-6-09
620 posts |
04-04-12, 05:26 PM (Pacific Time) |
|
|
8. "Longrifle - you asked for it!"
In response to message #7
| |
Cowboy Joe walked into a barber shop, sat in the barber's chair and said, "I'll have a shave and a shoe shine." The barber began to lather his face while a woman with the biggest, firmest, most beautiful breasts that he had ever seen knelt down and began to shine his shoes. The cowboy said, "Young lady, you and I should go and spend some time in a hotel room." She replied, "I'm married and my husband wouldn't like that. The cowboy said, "Tell him your working overtime and I'll pay you the difference." She said, "You tell him. He is the one shaving you." ****************************************** As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way. |
|
|
|
Printer-friendly page | Top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
|
Derek
Member since 8-16-08
455 posts |
04-06-12, 01:15 PM (Pacific Time) |
|
|
11. "RE: Longrifle - you asked for it!"
In response to message #10
| |
A weary cowboy rides into town after a long time on the trail. Head to toe he's covered in dust.He stops in front of the saloon and after hitching his horse, he walks behind it, lifts it's tail and plants a firm kiss where the sun don't shine. The town sheriff, leaning back in his chair in front of his office door couldn't believe what he just saw. "Stranger", he said, "did you just do what I think you did?" The cowhand turns and said, "Yeah, well you see, I've been on the trail for months now and got me a powerful case of chapped lips." The sheriff asked, "And that helps?!" The cowboy replied, "No, but it keeps me from lickin 'em."
" The only time a man should be dancing is when other men are shooting at his feet. "
|
|
|
|
Printer-friendly page | Top |
|
|
|
|
DocKaty
Member since 12-6-09
620 posts |
04-06-12, 05:29 PM (Pacific Time) |
|
|
12. "Longrifle - continued"
In response to message #11
| |
Too corny - but that's OK Cowboy Joe, from Texas, goes to Australia for a vacation. There he meets an Aussie farmer and starts talking. The Aussie shows off his big wheat field and the Texan says, "Oh! We have wheat fields that are at least twice as large".
Then they walk around the ranch a little and the Aussie shows off his herd of cattle. The Texan immediately says, "We have longhorns that are at least twice as large as your cows". The conversation has, meanwhile, almost died when the Texan sees a herd of kangaroos hopping through the field. He asks, " what are those"?
The Aussie asks with an incredulous look, "Don't you have any grasshoppers in Texas"?
******************************************
As you slide down the banister of life, may the splinters never point the wrong way. |
|
|
|
Printer-friendly page | Top |
|
|
|
|
DocKaty
Member since 12-6-09
620 posts |
04-23-12, 09:07 AM (Pacific Time) |
|
|
13. "The final one - I promise?"
In response to message #12
| |
Cowboy Joe was visiting a friend one day and was setting on the porch as he sees his friend coming up from the barn pulling a wagon with something loaded on it!! Joe hollers out to his friend “what’s in the wagon?” The friend hollers back “Horse Manure.” Joe hollers back “what are you going do with it?” The friend says “I’m going to spread it over my strawberries! Joe replies “you ought to come over to my ranch; we use Cool Whip on ours.” ****************************************** "Ain't nuthin' like ridin' a fine horse in new country." ~Agustus MacCrae (Robert Duvall-"Lonesome Dove")
|
|
|
|
Printer-friendly page | Top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
DocKaty
Member since 12-6-09
620 posts |
04-24-12, 04:29 PM (Pacific Time) |
|
|
15. "RE: The final one - I promise?"
In response to message #14
| |
I have never understood why women love cats. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat. ****************************************** "Ain't nuthin' like ridin' a fine horse in new country." ~Agustus MacCrae (Robert Duvall-"Lonesome Dove")
|
|
|
|
Printer-friendly page | Top |
|
|
|
|
|
DocKaty
Member since 12-6-09
620 posts |
04-26-12, 07:46 AM (Pacific Time) |
|
|
17. "Corniest Cowboy Joke -A Winner"
In response to message #0
| |
Cowboy Joe rode into town and stopped at a saloon for a drink. Unfortunately, the locals had a habit of picking on strangers. When he finished his drink, he found his horse had been stolen. He went back into the bar and with a quick move of his hands, he flipped his guns into the air, caught them above his head without even looking and fired at the ceiling. Which one of you sidewinders stole my hoss!?" he yelled. No one answered. "Alright, I'm gonna have anotha beer, and if my hoss ain't back outside by the time I finish, I'm gonna do what I dun in Texas! And I don't like to have to do what I dun in Texas! Some of the locals shifted restlessly. He had another beer, walked outside, and his horse was back! As he swung up into the saddle and started to ride out of town, the bartender ran out of the saloon and asked, "Say partner, before you go... what happened in Texas?" The cowboy turned back and said, "I walked home."
******************************************
"Ain't nuthin' like ridin' a fine horse in new country." ~Agustus MacCrae (Robert Duvall-"Lonesome Dove")
|
|
|
|
Printer-friendly page | Top |
|
|
|
DocKaty
Member since 12-6-09
620 posts |
04-26-12, 03:53 PM (Pacific Time) |
|
|
19. "RE: Corniest Cowboy Joke -A Winner"
In response to message #18
| |
It was Saturday morning as Cowboy Joe, an avid hunter, woke up ready to go bag the first deer of the season. He walks down to the kitchen to get a cup of coffee, and to his surprise he finds his wife, Alice, sitting there, fully dressed in camouflage. Joe asks her: “What are you up to? “Alice smiles: “I`m going hunting with you!” Cowboy Joe, though he had many reservations about this, reluctantly decides to take her along. Later they arrive at the hunting site. Cowboy Joe sets his wife safely up in the tree stand and tells her: “If you see a deer, take careful aim on it and I`ll come running back as soon as I hear the shot”
Cowboy Joe walks away with a smile on his face knowing that Alice couldn`t bag an elephant–much less a deer. Not 10 minutes pass when he is startled as he hears an array of gunshots. Quickly, Cowboy Joe starts running back. As he gets closer to her stand, he hears Alice screaming: “Get away from my deer!”
Confused, Cowboy Joe races faster towards his screaming wife. And again he hears her yell: “Get away from my deer!” followed by another volley of gunfire.
Now within sight of where he had left his wife, Cowboy Joe is surprised to see a cowboy, with his hands high in the air. The cowboy, obviously distraught, says: “Okay, lady, okay!!!! You can have your deer!!! Just let me get my saddle off it!”
******************************************
"Ain't nuthin' like ridin' a fine horse in new country." ~Agustus MacCrae (Robert Duvall-"Lonesome Dove")
|
|
|
|
Printer-friendly page | Top |
|
|
|
|
|
|
DocKaty
Member since 12-6-09
620 posts |
04-27-12, 11:31 AM (Pacific Time) |
|
|
23. "RE: Corniest Cowboy Joke -A Winner"
In response to message #18
| |
I just change the names and a few other minor things - Aristotle said that "there is nothing new under the sun." ****************************************** "Ain't nuthin' like ridin' a fine horse in new country." ~Agustus MacCrae (Robert Duvall-"Lonesome Dove")
|
|
|
|
Printer-friendly page | Top |
|
|
|
|
Tennessee Dave
Member since 1-2-11
1207 posts |
04-29-12, 01:24 PM (Pacific Time) |
|
|
25. "then again....."
In response to message #24
| |
Perhaps you're correct as, yes, I have heard most say that it's just the type of application a writer uses.
But, of course, LL was just good enough("just good enough" funny, huh!?)to tell a good enough story that one will think it's an altogether new story. Even though his story formulas usually followed suit, his fact based locals and historical info DID make for a mucho interesting read. Humm. I'm agonna ask our host. Tennessee Dave "Change is inevitable, growth is optional."
Author unknown |
|
|
|
Printer-friendly page | Top |
|
|
|
|
Printer-friendly copy
